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3DPitDudez
I love art, make comics, anime of course, love zelda and video games, love anything with technology. Not a freak though. I wish to make animations someday. I love the color blue, green, and yellow. I love tacos and i am very fast. Any Questions? [(+_=)]

Age 25, Male

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Joined on 2/12/13

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The Cattunko Brothers Part 3

Posted by 3DPitDudez - July 22nd, 2013


Sorry for the goddamn long wait peeps, but I had to brainstorm carefully for the next part of the story, and, to make sure this treat doesn't come out as original. kkots mentioned that on the last part, and I made the part like that because I wanted the story to go on a slow start with normal life problems. And, since I did that, the story crashed into a pole, holy fuck.

Now before I bring up the story, I have an announcement. This might the only post I will be posting for the whole week. Why? Because of a camping trip of course! I'm leaving tomorrow with the family, and we won't return home until Friday. Well, it's a few days without internet, i'm totally fine with that. But I will miss you guys a lot. And I gotta say, i'm really starting to love this site. Nobody is giving me a heads down now, since I went mature, and you guys are the best bros I had in the online world. And, also, nobody is giving crap about my art I post here, and at first you guys would hate it and never scout me to the Art Portal. I don't want to be scouted anyway. And, I will say thanks to my fans and friends for being with me while providing me loads of entertainment, support, and kindness! I'm very grateful for that.

Oh yes, one more thing, I will give you guys a little present before leaving this wonderful site for a few days. Part 3 of The Cattunko Brothers, and...FREE INTERNET COOKIES! I will also start giving them out whoever makes my day now.

Now, story time from your pal, 3DPitDudez!
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What happened so far- The brothers were hanging out in an empty park on a nice cloudy morning. Shiyu, the jerk, threw a rock at Dunion the creeper, after Funisal pointed out that they were being watched. Zucole complained to shiyu at what he had done, then, they are headed to the hospital with a bleeding Dunion and left him in good hands. And once the brothers got home, they had a worried mother and she expected them to come home with pie ingredients. The brothers then offered to get the ingredients after telling mommy why they took so fucking long to get simple shit. Blah blah blah, let's just get to the part when they got their shit together, and only one time I mentioned pie!
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" Hey guys! You should check this out!" Zucole was looking out the window after getting settled in the house from chores, and waited for his brothers to come downstairs, while hearing stomping. Shiyu and Funisal dashed into the living room and looked at Zucole, " What is it?" They both asked, and looked around the area with curiosity. " Looks like we have newcomers in the neighborhood. And they look rich too," Zucole looked out the window and folded his arms," just look ahead the street, two houses left." The brothers did so, and the house caught their eyes after three seconds. Shiyu pressed his face against the window like a child, " Why would rich people move here in the first place? This place is too quiet and boring," He rose a brow and turned to the brothers," and does that house used to belong to the Frugu family?"
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The house the newcomers were moving to used to belong to a family of five. The mother, father, two sons, and a daughter. The children looked to be about Zucole's age, and they would always play with the brothers every weekend. That was until they decided to move to a tropical island about a year ago. They left a white house empty along with the garage and yard, still covered in daises. The brothers then felt bored and lonely until they met Runyuio. The boys found her spunky and beautiful, also protective and alert near them. Then, a close bond was made between the brothers and her after a week or so.
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Now, the house belonged to a family of three. The mother and father, which the boys can't get a good glance at them since they were busy putting things in the house. And, the son, who was on the yard, sitting while looking at the grass. The boy could be seen well, and he had black hair with blue eyes, while wearing one of those classy outfits rich people wear. The house remained same, well, for now. Soon it would be covered in so many decorations with gardens all over the yards. That would annoy the hell out of the brothers for sure. Oh well, that's rich people for ya.
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" Yea, but I wonder...when did they arrive? When we walked home after getting the crap, I saw the house all empty." Zucole titled his head and wondered for a bit. Funisal jumped up, " I'm guessing they just arrived. But who cares, how about we pay them a visit?" Shiyu clapped his hands together, " Yeah! We can welcome them to the neighborhood! Let's get our crap on and we'll be on our way." The brothers nodded and grabbed their jackets from the coat rack. " Hey mom! We'll be right back! We're going to say hi to the new neighbors!" Zucole yelled and waited for mom to answer. But instead, she walked into the living room with a basket, covered with a stitched white blanket, " Oh yes, I heard about them moving here. Take this and give it to them as nice welcoming present from the Cattunko family!" She smiled as she handed the basket to shiyu, then walked back into the kitchen happily. Shiyu looked at the basket and lifted the blanket slowly. Pie. With fruit in the shape of stars surrounded around it. " Oh mom..."

After making their way to the house, they saw that no one was on the yard, including the little boy. They were all just out there a few seconds ago when they stepped foot outside. Strange, but it didn't bother the brothers too much. The brothers strolled across the yard and stopped when they reached the front door.

" Okay, you knock first Funisal."

" No, you knock, your the oldest."

" Yeah, good excuse. You're just pussying out on a simple action!"

" No i'm not, you're pussying out by asking me to knock!"

Zucole knocked on the door with frustration to stop the stupid argument, and he knocked without hesitation. Shiyu and Funisal stiffened up quickly before the door opened. The door opened after four long seconds, and the person who opened it was the boy that the brothers saw earlier. But, something was strange. He had an eye patch on his left eye, and a couple of scratches on his cheek. How could something that dreadful happen to him in less than ten minutes? Especially when they just moved to a nice new home?

" Hi..." The boy said calmly, trying not to make long eye contact. Shiyu handed the boy the basket and the boy shook a bit while accepting it. Then, he set it on a small table near him. " Welcome to the neighborhood! My name is Shiyu!" Shiyu said happily, and Funisal sighed, " I'm Funisal." Zucole smiled and stood up proudly," And i'm Zucole!" The brothers then all said, " And we are Cattunko brothers!" The boy nodded and grinned, " Hello, i'm Blue Tyiol. My family came from the far east of town. " Blue put his hand out, waiting for a handshake. The brothers accepted it, and things were starting to get more bright between the guys. " Nice to meet you Blue! So, where are your parents? We would like to meet them too!" shiyu said in excitement, and the boy rubbed his arm, " Vanished..." The boys tilted their heads and Zucole rose a brow, " What do you mean, 'vanished?"

Blue looked on the ground, and picked up a knife that was next to him. He than pointed to his eye with the eye patch, and he used the knife to point, making the brothers nervous. " It briefly explains why I have this eye patch on my left eye. But, for some reason, i'm not feeling scared, nor sad about the situation." Shiyu swirled his finger next to his head, and Zucole slapped it down. Blue just dodged the question and came up with another topic. This boy is starting to creep the hell out of them.

Zucole took the knife from the boy and yelled, " What the hell are you talking about?! You need help if this happened to you! And what do you mean your parents vanished?! They were with you before we arrived here!" Blue giggled, " You should regret even coming here to greet me...you should leave and never come back..." Zucole shook his head, " No! We can't! And answer my question dammit! We can help you!" Blue looked on the floor, " Gone. Dead. But you don't need to do anything. I'll be fine." Zucole stepped back and grabbed his phone, " No, we need to call 911! We can't just leave you like this! You really need help!" Zucole was about to dial the numbers, and then Zucole saw a piece of blade through the phone. The boy just grabbed a blade out of nowhere and simply sliced through the phone!

Shiyu jumped and turned to Funisal to tell him to run away with him, but Funisal was already gone. Shiyu started to break sweat, " Wh-what the hell are you?" He didn't dare to look at Blue, and Zucole rushed near Shiyu, " What the hell are you talking about?! He's just a boy who needs a lot of medical help! Now watch him while I-" " That won't be necessary boy. Just leave and never come back. That's something to you could do to help me," Blue interrupted and walked up to Zucole and Shiyu, " or you vanish too like them." Zucole and Shiyu's eyes widened. " You..." Zucole covered his head," Your insane! Why the hell would you do that to people you care about?!" Blue smiled grimly, " New start of life, my friend. They are not important to my life. I can be alone for the rest of my life for all I care." Shiyu knelt on the grass of the yard, " I can't believe it...Zucole we have to get out of here...now." Zucole nodded and turned his head to the Blue," I don't know who you really are, but you better not do anything else this stupid in the neighborhood! You hear! We will get help whether you like it or not, and once they find out you killed your own parents, you will be vanished!"

Blue's teeth turned sharp as he smiled, and he walked closer to Zucole, " No help. None. Now you're next." Blue knocked the two out with a bat, and then, blackout for Shiyu and Zucole. " From this day on, you will forget of what happened to my parents, and who I am. I will let you live. But anymore interference's will put this place into the death penalty." He dragged the boys into the house. " for now...you will stay here while I get your other brother." He set the boys on the couch, covered in blood, and left the house.
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OKAY. DONE finally. Now, I have no idea if I did good this time, but, at least I pulled in some excitement before things start to get really fucked up. And I promise there will be more fighting acts and blood in the next part! And kkots, i'm counting on you to see what is wrong and what is good about this part, okay? I might have did some wrong things on this part, but I will fix it as soon as I can. Now, you guys are wondering what the hell is up with this kid, and why he wouldn't hide what he did to his parents. Well, he's just not afraid to show his craziness. one second a nice innocent kid, and the next, he is a fucked up monster. But after what he does to the boys, they will forget everything of what happened when they first stepped foot onto the neighbor's yard. Questions about this part? Feel free to ask!

Alright, bye bye for now! And take the internet cookies with ya!


Comments

Repetition again: "New start of life, my friend. They are not important to my life. I can be alone for the rest of my life for all I care".
This time the dialogues were pretty well written. The story was progressing with the right speed.
But I noticed there's something wrong with the direction in which the story progresses: there was no investigation of the situation by Cattunki brothers, not enough tension build-up, you pulled the trigger way too soon, without all the proper preparations. You could have added so much more to the story.
But instead, you wrote a short dialogue which happens in a single place and in a short lapse of time, in which Blue gives away all his crimes. That's extremely disappointing. But the story is saved by the fact it's written so damn well. Good job.

Thank you, and I promise to work on the tension build up and the paste of situations.

Also, I will make sure the next part is long as hell! It just takes me at least three hours to make sure my story is peachy perfect. And, i'm time limited from parenting crap on my computer, so when I strike my limit, the computer shuts off, not saving any crap i'm doing. Stupid parents, but I will try my best to make the next part long. Don't worry!

Pretty good so far. You got my.attention. keep me informed on your next story.

Thank you my friend! ~(-_-)~

gonna put this is on youtube? Id love to put it on it my channel bro heres the link <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/Madyoshifan25">http://www.youtube.com/user/Madyoshifan25</a>